curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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