Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
