My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
