she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
