Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
