This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
His nipple licking is glorious
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