I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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