I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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