Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
