So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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