Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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