I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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