i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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