there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
