i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
