My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
