have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
