Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
