Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
