McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
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