This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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