just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
