i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
There's always time for handjobs
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
