You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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