Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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