when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
