the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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