I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
