Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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