walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
