Im at strip club and am horny
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
he just fucked me for my cheese..
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
