dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I will die if light touches me.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
