i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just forgot I was standing up.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
