Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
