Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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