Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
