Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
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