I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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