i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
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They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
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Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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