i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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