She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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