Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
im six kinds of drunk right now
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
