we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
