carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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