her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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