No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My penis needs a shock collar
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
