I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize