shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
