did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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