this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
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That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize