i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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