New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
