Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize