somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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