If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i just had sex bonerless
you would pick up someone in the library
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Randomize
