Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
