I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
