she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
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you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
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why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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