I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
