Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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