The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize