Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
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