I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
