you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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