is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
