He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
