we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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