There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
