Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
