She is in my trunk
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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