the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
